_Biography of Wing Commander Sir Arthur Curmudgeon
Vulcan at Farnborough
_Little Arthur was born in 1942 to Joan Possett and Herbert Maxwell Fosdyke Curmudgeon, who was sadly lost in the Andes in 1939.
Expelled from three public schools for inflammatory behaviour (and on the advice of the British Fire Investigation Service), the young Arthur was sent to live with his uncle Ralph in the American Mid-West.
Arthur learned to fly crop-dusters as a teenager while in the United States, until an unfortunate incident with a telephone pole, three cows and a barn. The Federal Aviation Authority was unable to prosecute the juvenile for his lack of a license and merely deported him.
Resuming his education, Arthur finally earned a degree in Engineering from Lampeter University after being sent down from Cambridge, York and Roehampton.
Avro Vulcan Bomber
_Having inherited his father's title, Sir Arthur joined the British Royal Air Force (RAF) in 1962, the height of the Cold War. Selected for the fast jet programme, he qualified on Vulcan bombers.
Sir Arthur holds the record for the number of Vulcan bomber sorties flown. The number of sorties completed remains government classified information.
Much travel ensued while on active service.
For example, while in Africa in 1965 with Flight Lt. 'Binky' Carstairs, there was an unfortunate incident with a tiger and a .303 rifle. Neither Binky or the tiger were the same again.
Sir Arthur lost part of his lower leg in a skirmish with Filipino pirates in Mindanao, although they claimed to be refuse collectors on their regular round.
Highlights and Lowlights
The 'Office' 1962-1992
_During his time with the RAF, Sir Arthur served as RAF advisor to De Havilland in air worthiness tests of the Expendable Jet Pack. Owing to the position of the burns, was unable to return to the cockpit for several months.
His career stalled in the wake of the scandal of the missing Vulcan bomber after a diplomatic mission to Bahrain in 1979. There was also an official reprimand for the unauthorised importation of a quantity of camel meat, which was frowned upon as it was attached to a live camel at the time.
Sir Arthur was cleared by three boards of enquiry involving flying incidents. He was acquitted of both air crashes. The last, involving an incident with the Queen's flight VC10 at RAF Brize Norton earned a second official reprimand.
It is pure coincidence that all three were chaired by Air Commodore Richard 'Dickie' Byrd.
Sir Arthur retired from the RAF in 1992, with the final air show of the Vulcan Display Flight.
After retiring from the RAF, Sir Arthur served for several years as consultant to Fotherghyll and Tardy Private Bank, back in the day when a total lack of experience of the banking sector was seen as an advantage. Much like today.
Vulcan by James Allan
_Married three times, his ex-wives have taken out a restraining order to prevent any disclosures on this web-site.
Sir Arthur has three children.
His eldest daughter Marjorie, 46, runs the Kings Lynn Pony Rehabilitation Centre, and is married to Dennis Fotherghyll the Younger, the local Member of Parliament.
Youngest daughter Maisie is married to RAF Group Captain Eustace 'Flightless' Byrd.
His son Roderick, 42, a property developer, is currently in Norwich Open Prison serving two years for fraud. What goes around comes around.
Sir Arthur was recently detained by Turkish customs on returning from a trip on the Orient Express, after a quantity of baking powder and dog biscuits found in his luggage. He has written to his MP, Dennis Fotherghyll.
The Wing Commander is currently living in Stockholm with Inga, a 22 year old Swedish masseuse.
Evidently there is life in the old dog yet, possibly not for much longer.